Does Every Mother Have ADD?

Robert didn't get into the private school I wanted him to go to because he doesn't follow directions. Robert cannot receive occupational therapy right now -- though he needs it -- because he doesn't follow directions. Robert sometimes cannot receive treatment or evaluation from doctors because he refuses to be touched, and does not follow instructions.

So.

His counselor advises a behavioral chart.

I hate behavioral charts.

They go against all my parenting grains.

Sigh.

So I started to get some poster board out to write up the "expanded board" as Paul has taken to calling it. (It would be too hard to explain why.)

Then I noticed the kids were a bit bored, so I stopped by the learning closet to find some homeschooly things to work on: penmanship, multiplication flash cards, etc. And glanced through a book on homeschooling activities and chose a few.

Aubrey was supposed to be vacuuming the living room carpet. Paul and I repeatedly told this to her a gaza-billion times. Whenever she'd start, something would interrupt it. She'd suck up a carpet strand. It would start making an obnoxious noise. It appeared clogged. Every time, I would stop looking through that book and "fix" the vacuum. Most of the time was spent pulling debris and dog hair clumps out of the wand and power head. I finally ended up vacuuming the carpet, because the vacuum was acting so bizarre.

After that, I called Aubrey downstairs so she could vacuum some of the hardwood floor in exchange for me doing her chore.

I took the school supplies to the table, which was littered with crumbs.

So I went to get a dishcloth to wipe it up. There wasn't one by the sink, so I looked in the drawers and there weren't any put away, so I looked in the bedroom where the folded-and-ready-to-be-put-away laundry was. Found one. Wiped up the table.

Aubrey went for a walk with one dog. Robert stayed and played in the backyard with the other dog. I finished vacuuming the rest of the kitchen.

I still need to make the behavioral chart. I left the vacuum there and went to find poster supplies.

On my way to the garage (where the poster board probably was), Robert announces that we should plant our new trees right now. He's right, they're bare-rooted in a dirt "sprinkled" fake burlap sack since Monday and they need to be in the ground. But I'm in nice clothes that I'm planning on wearing out tonight and I don't want to get muddy.

"That's like a four hour project, buddy. We'll have to save it for another day."

"But I've already got the hole dug."

!!!!!!!!!!!!

"What?! You dug a hole in the backyard?"

"Yeah! Come see!"

Sigh. He was so proud of himself.

It was smack in the middle of the backyard.

Sigh. He worked so hard on it.

It was a decent sized hole, too.

Sigh.

I explained why we couldn't plant it there. I showed him where we were going to plant them, when I had time, and then informed him he needed to fix the hole.

He did.

But somehow, in the process, I got mud on my sleeve.

So I had to clean that up.

Then I noticed the vacuum still out.

Then I laughed.

Kinda maniacally. And went to post this.

During the time it took to write this: the babysitter called to cancel, the dog accosted me, Paul called and Aubrey still hadn't come home so I sent Paul looking for her, and Robert came into the office two times. Once to show me a scrape that the puppy had given him, and one to discuss dinner plans.

Done.

Paul and Aubrey and the dog just got home.

Time to make dinner.

And I still haven't made the chart!