Failed Book Review

I have failed.

I did not complete this book.

Finishing books I've started has always been an unwritten law for me. If I start one, I have to finish it.
It's only been recent (in the last five years or so) that I've allowed myself to not finish a book. I had conceded that my time was precious and that if I was not riveted to what I was reading ... it was OK to stop.


So, I didn't complete "Desperately Seeking Paradise." I purchased it at that great Mecca of booksellers: Powell's City of Books with the understanding that it was a memoir. What originally sold me on it was the quote on the back by James Buchan of the Guardian. He said, "Desperately Seeking Paradise draws on an old Muslim literary tradition in which a man sets out from home and friends, ostensibly to make his pilgrimage to Mecca, but really to indulge his spiritual restlessness ... add some British-Indian blokery and some slapstick, and you will have some idea of the scope and charm of Desperately Seeking Paradise. Interspersed through these adventures are meditations on episodes in Islamic history and other political and religious movements."

A memoir, right?

"Wanna see my fishtank?" -- an euphemism for ???

I recently met up with my other 37 year old girlfriends going through divorce (it's so wild that there are so many of us!) and we started talking about online dating. Two of us had met our ex-husbands and/or current boyfriends online, and two of us met them through regular social means. And two of us are currently on an online dating site right now.

It seemed that online dating (the merits and demerits of it) would be a good topic to write about here, because it is something that a lot of women have had, or will have, some experience with. Also -- and especially because -- if you are a single mom, the chances of you going through the online dating experience probably quadruple, or something. I mean, if you are a single parent of small children .... are you going to go to a bar to pick up guys? Well. Maybe you are, but that's besides the point. The point is, online dating is becoming more and more prevalent and less and less taboo.

So when my lady friends came over, and we pillaged through the snacks everyone had brought, and we made ourselves drinks, and we settled into the living room, and we started laughing immediately about nipple size, blogs and small children ... also marbles -- I opened up the online dating topic.

"Nook"y on the Plane

I have a Nook.
I got it in the divorce.

I've only used it once though, and I didn't buy it for myself. (I didn't inhale disclaimer.)
My ex bought it for himself, and then bought the iPad he really wanted but couldn't rationalize the cost. (snort)

So I snagged the Nook. You know, just in case.

I've never wanted an ebook reader. I don't need one. To mirror Emma Thompson in "Stranger Than Fiction," "I don't need [an ebook reader], Penny. I [read books.]" (Only she was talking about the nicotine patch and smoking cigarettes.)

"...I pledge allegiance to Turtle Island, and to the beings who there on dwell ..."

There's nothing like Nature for clarity and grounding ...

Long Distance Relationships

A long-distance relationship has never been what I’ve wanted . But I’m in one by my own choice (in a way.)

Once my boyfriend moved, I could’ve said, ‘well, it’s been nice knowing you,’ but I didn’t. I wanted to stay connected. I wanted to stay in relationship. So, here we are. Long Distance.

Fears and challenges will arise – have already arisen. But that doesn’t make me want him any less, nor does it make me want to give up trying.

We both believe that these challenges are just that – challenges.

We both believe that we can overcome them.

We both believe in our love, and

We both believe our separation is only temporary.

We just need to hold on.

Hold on to each other,

Hold on to our dreams,

And we can make “us” happen.

That said, not giving our fears and challenges an airing once in awhile so they don’t turn dirty and dank – growing mold and getting bigger – is not healthy.

Not whine, or be-labor them. But not stuff them either. Just show them the light, acknowledge they are there, so they will shrivel in that light.

Some fears/challenges we face: