The Ghosts of Unwritten Blog Posts

Makes you wonder
what happens on Thursdays at 11am.
You know?

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought of all the blog posts that have been rolling around in my head lately -- unwritten.

First there was the one about my vacation and love and what it's been like in long-distance relationship realm. Then there was the one about abortion and how single parenthood could affect someone's stance on that issue. And then that blog post segued nicely into the one on religion and what last vestiges of power and guilt organized religion still hold over me. Also how my cyber-friends in Portland can make classy barbs at religion -- during Halloween no less -- and still have a following.

Then there was the post on Ikea and secrets.
One on assimilation, and becoming someone else -- how hard it is to stay authentic, especially in relationships.

One on moving yet again.

One on the pros and cons of having a baby later in life. Or more specifically do I want to have another baby. Because being newly divorced means you can ask yourself these questions now.

There was another post I thought about on self-improvement, living in line with your principles, and saying sorry when it's the right thing to do.

But dammit.

I had a conversation with a friend that turned that post on its ear.

Another blog post was going to be about my favorite sweater. The one I love and looks great on me -- like it was made for me -- painted on. With a hood and cool buttons. My Faerieworlds sweater.

But.

How every time I wear it, I think of my ex-boyfriend.

And that's crummy. Because it's coming on winter now and I'll be wanting to wear it all the time. The only thing I can think to do is ... wear it. And hopefully new memories will come from that.

And then there's the post on my son and counseling: more invisible special needs, and my fears surrounding those.

And my fears surrounding the future. Everyone has those fears. That would make a good blog post, too.





But not in the middle of the night.

Waiting at the Tae Kwon Do Class

Joey's refusing to participate again.  It seems to happen at least 50% of the time.  TKD is an expensive hobby and I'm really just wondering about Joey.  I'm constantly worried for or irritated at him.

I don't know why he's oppositional -- other than he doesn't like being told what to do.

But this is something he asked for!  I know people have the right to change their minds but it is highly inconvenient and costly for me for him to change his mind this late in the game.

It's like him deciding he doesn't want to be a Power Ranger for Halloween after I've already bought the costume.  Although this can at least be used later for dress-up.  Not going to TKD after I've already paid for three months pisses me off.  Not to mention confuses me.

He wants to take the yellow belt test; he wants sparring pads.  But he won't participate in class.

Hmm.  Now he's participating.  He's doing something he's never done before.  Jumping side kicks on the floor pads.  But when the class was taught Pume Se Tae Kwon Do, he refused.  ???

No rhyme or reason.

I asked him in the van on the way home and he answered that Pume Se Tae Kwon Do was too hard.  I don't know how he knows this.  He didn't even try.

Hmpf.  I'm irritated and frazzled.  Not to mention feeling a bit manipulated.