On the Way, Part Two

We stayed at Vida Tropical near the San Jose airport on our first night in Costa Rica. We checked in, showered, and swayed in a hammock on the balcony to relax. We went to bed pretty early (travel was tiring), and planned to leisurely eat breakfast at 7-ish and make our way to the bus station to catch a 10 am bus to Palmar Norte. Our new friends, Lisa and Mark, would pick us up there and drive us to Osa Mountain Village.

We woke with our 7 am alarm and wandered slowly to breakfast. Which wasn't ready. BECAUSE, it was really 6:40 am. They don't acknowledge the time change here. (headsmack) We almost went back to bed, but the breeze was so nice, and the orange juice and coffee ready, that we stayed up.

I journaled, and Ali swung in the hammock, reading a Costa Rican guidebook. The hostel there keep rabbits as pets, and the birds wake you in the wee hours of the morning. (Sunrise here is 5:30 am.)

**

While waiting for breakfast, we were informed that we should really be at the bus station an hour or two before departure because of it being Easter Holiday Week. We hurried through a traditional Tico breakfast of rice, beans, and eggs, and got to the station via taxi. The taxi to the bus station (back in San Jose) was more expensive than the four hour bus ride to Palmar Norte! $30 for the taxi, and $23 for TWO bus tickets.

(Waiting for the bus at the Tracopa station in San Jose.)

Despite my ass hurting from sitting so many hours in two days (three, if you count the drive to Portland), and my feet swelling up, puffy in my flip-flops; on the bus ride to Palmar Norte, both Ali and I felt that even though we had just arrived in this country (and hadn't even reached our destination of Osa Mountain Village), we didn't want to leave. A week would not be enough.

Costa Rica already felt like home.

On the Way -- Part One

It would be easy for me to disregard Days One and Two of the Costa Rica trip since we weren't at Osa Mountain Village yet, but then I'd be leaving out the journey. Of course! I often jump ahead of myself and look forwardforward to what it will be like when, when the right now is pretty damn awesome in and of itself.

For instance, Ali and I left Eugene on Sunday after dropping the kids at their respective plans that day, walking the dogs one last time, and last minute packing. We drove to Portland (I napped on the way -- so relaxing) and met up with Ali's friend, Erika. We went out to dinner at The Observatory and I ate a super yummy lamb burger, and Ali ate the BEST MEATLOAF ever. Or so he said. I couldn't taste it. It had gluten.

Erika had just inherited (sort of ) a new dog named Patrick. I caught him with a wee Irish hat on.

Erika's place was super cool. The light was a fantastic bonus feature for her husband, a glass artist.

We took a taxi to the airport the next morning, and flew to Texas for a short-ish layover, and found this cool glass sculpture that was really an instrument.

And then we flew to San Jose, Costa Rica.

Napping along the way.

We landed in San Jose and went through the immigration line (even though we weren't immigrating), and got our passports stamped. We got our bags and went through customs, and caught a taxi to our hostel. 

Part Two tells of our sweet hostel -- Vida Tropical.

A Time of Transition Requires a New Name

This blog started back in 2008 as a mommy blog. Or, more accurately, a place to compile the insanity of my life -- specifically with my son's undiagnosed PDD-NOS, and the unschooling/homeschooling adventures I had with him, and his sister.

The blog was aptly named Insane Parents Unite!

But now my kids are in middle-school. And you can't even buy parenting magazines geared towards kids that old. Not to mention that both my children refuse to be photographed, and what fun is a blog post about teenage angst, hunting for high schools, or the continual battle of limiting video gaming time when you can't even add a picture?!

Grumblegrumble.

So I changed the blog title to Indian-flavored Everything because I love all things Indian, was dating an Indian man, and I was running out of kid topics. (Which isn't really true, but whatever.) I still want to write about my favorite Bollywood movie, and the trip I'm dreaming up for Kerala with my new guy, but I also want to write about homesteading and reading and parenting older kids and cross-cultural dating. And hopefully in an artful-heartful way so that I may bring some joy to the soul along the way.

So now what do I call the blog?

***

And now for something not-so completely different ... I will be starting a BRAND NEW BLOG within the next month (in addition to this one). Something along the lines of Eco Expat. I've bought some land in Costa Rica at an Eco Village (off the grid, self-sustainable, intentional community) and I want to chronicle my experience of readying myself for life in a foreign country, earning income in a foreign country, learning a new language, practicing my homesteading skills -- plus all the logistical things I didn't anticipate happening but I'm sure will.

Stop by here for a link to the new blog.

Pura Vida!

Dream Dissonance

Instead of wishing and wanting N to be here RIGHT NOW so he could cook me biriyani and snuggle with me, I will dutifully (with love and accountability) call upon those feelings I had this morning in the office I share with Brittany -- energy worker extraordinaire.

I discovered today.

I acknowledged in my body today.

I felt a Truth rise up in me today.

I knew a felt sense today.

After my lovely energy session was almost complete and I was relaxing and breathing deeply and without panic for the first time in weeks, B took me through a couple of meditative visuals. Halfway through the second one, I spilled over with tears, and continued to be highly emotional during the next ten minutes while I explained what had happened internally for me.

We often discuss what the body does, or says, during sessions.

Here's a WILDLY ABRIDGED version of the visualization exercise:

• Imagine the soles of your feet in contact with soft earth. 

(I immediately thought Costa Rican soil and saw huge green leaves coming up from the ground at the base of a giant tree. It was in this soil that I imagined my feet.)

• Feel the earth energy entering you from the soles of your feet, through your gates, into your calves and shins, past your knees ....  

(I could actually feel a tingly rushy feeling going everywhere she led me. I felt content and joyful, and all of a sudden I knew. Costa Rica would be good for me. A place of healing and good energy.)



She continued leading the earth energy up my body and when it reached my center -- my womb -- I could see the little light zipping around and joyfully doing figure eights around my belly. (I would find joy and healing and nourishment in Costa Rica.)

And.

I started crying.

I struggled with the earth energy going higher through the upper chakras. It did. It was dimmed and not so joyful, but it made it.

I struggled with feelings of un-worthiness.

Was I crying because I felt like Costa Rica was the right place for me, but that it might not be for my kids and I can't get there yet, until my kids are grown up? Was I crying because I didn't feel worthy of obtaining/attaining this dream, when I should be focusing on my kids' dreams?

Or was I crying because I felt unworthy of earth energy? Maybe because I was blocked in one of those chakras? Or because I wasn't worthy of feeling joy? (GASP)

I don't know the answer to any of those questions.

Then or now.

B's hypothesis is that I've been disconnected from Earth energy for a long time and I was reunited with it today. That I felt joy and longing for it today. And the tears were a mixture of relief, love and longing.

That rings true, too.

When I asked her what to do with it, she just said 'sit with it.' Let it be there. (Of course she did.)

I'm concerned that since I wasn't able to process those feelings right after the session (due to a business meeting) that the impact -- the import and impact -- are missing now.

This is a faithful accounting of what happened at the session, but the ... longing and relief ... are missing.

I wish I could re-capture that ... in case there were extra messages there for me.

I feel like I have the clarity now that Costa Rica is definitely that place I need to be. And that it will be good for me there. Being with nature in that way will be healing for me, like the island was for that character in Lost that didn't have cancer as long as she was there. Eventually I will live there. I know it now.

But what about that other part?

The part about Costa Rica being my longing, and not my kids' dream. And the dissonance of having a dream that is different from theirs. And when is it okay to act on a dream that is in contrast to your family's? And how do I go about doing that in a safe and respectful way?

I might not sell my house for "just cool."

I have a shaman-in-training friend.
You've met him before, in this blog. My brotherfriend.
We talked the other night about how to re-access spirit through dream gates. Of how talk to soul again.

Despite this sounding a smidgeon like a fantasy novel,  I don't actually feel like writing fiction right now.

Don't get me wrong, I love fiction. I want to write fiction, and publish fiction. But first, right now, I am immersed in the world of memoir. Living memoir. Non-fiction. Living my life in a creatively non-fiction way.

I'm making roads, honoring my needs, letting go. 

I'm learning ever more about myself. 

I'm.slowing.down. 

I'm looking at my experiences with MORE maturity and LESS obsession.

And.

Also.

I am trying to reconnect with my intuition. 

When Rob died, that catapulted me into talking with him in the pages of my journal, of receiving visits from him in my dreams, of meeting my spirit guides and my soul family. Of trusting myself. Implicitly. 

But not anymore.

To any of that.

My brotherfriend and I talked also about trusting myself again.

Well.

It's not really dis-trust, like I'm afraid I'll steal my laptop from myself, but more like ... when I check in on some uber-important question for soul and self, I want to know that the answer I receive is coming from a place of wholeness. Not from fear or desire.

Or co-dependancy.

Getting back to that place may take some time.
And I'm horribly out of practice.

All I know to do is: dance until the dream gates open, write until I hear the clarity that doesn't come from me, and to dialogue with people that remind me to check inside. ALL THE TIME.

"Is this bringing me closer to my goals?"
"Is making this choice in line with my true calling?"
"Will I be proud of this decision?"
"Am I communicating in the most non-violent way possible here?"
"Will chocolate REALLY help today?"
"Is this me being authentic?"

You might wonder why I'm so interested in this checking in with my soul/true calling stuff right now -- I mean, other than the general reasons of personal growth and living a life authentically, and one you can be proud to say you are living.

The reason I need to know if I'm lying to myself, or more accurately, that the answers to my questions are VALID ones -- the real reasons, the right reasons -- is because

I want to know if I'm supposed to move to Costa Rica.

I co-own a piece of land there already. I wanted to do it before, that's why it was purchased to begin with. But the plot changed in my memoir. The cast of characters is different. And I don't know if it is in my character's emotional arc to transcend the challenges to make it work with the differences from the original version of the story.

My ex wants to sell the land. So if I want to keep that Costa Rica dream alive (albeit in ICU), I need to come up with some serious cash to buy his half out. And I need to do it quickly. So, the question now becomes, not just do I want to live in Costa Rica someday? or even, do I want a vacation oasis in Costa Rica? but now it's do I want all that bad enough to put in an immense amount of time, effort and honest sweat for the next six months plus to make that happen? (Clarification: it'll take me six months to buy out my ex's half of the property. I could still take years to move down there, and I've made peace with that.)

Here's where the talking to yourself becomes mandatory.

I need to know if it is my true calling to go there. Is this me being authentic? Or is it just cool?
Because if it is, that's totally fine.

But I might not sell my house for "just cool."

Costa Rica -- Day Four

(the view from the tarzan swing on the property)

Just back from the property again. We met Jim Gale, a couple (Robin and Lea) that have already moved here, and had lunch in the nearby town of Ojochal.

I'm sitting by the pool in humid 80 degree weather with a slight breeze. I've left my camera at the room and now, of course, wish that I haven't. I see my strawberry daquiri approaching, so all is well. :) My towel is coming soon so I can slip into this delicious-looking swimming pool. I'm not a huge fan of swimming pools -- I don't begrudge or discourage them for others, but I don't swim gracefully and without effort, so I've never seen much use for one personally. A couple of feet of water to wade in or sit in socially to keep cool in the summer -- sure. But, like, swimming laps? I can't really do that. I'm more of a: keep-my-head-above-water-after-I've-fallen-out-of-the-boat kind of swimmer. But this pool looks divine and I so want to share it with you. Thus, the missed camera. Perhaps another day.

On the Costa Rican adventure -- I think we're sold. After meeting Jim Gale, we shifted our original villa idea to purchasing a home lot. Because the value of our homes in Oregon dropped along with the housing market, we have far less money to purchase property with. 

With the purchase of a villa, you also received shares in the company (that collects rents from the tourists staying on the property, among other things) -- but no actual deed. So, no bank would lend money on it. It needed to be purchased free and clear. 

With a homesite, however, we can get a bank loan for the construction of the house. (We can buy the land using a loan off Paul's 401K and a line of credit off our Albany rental.) Plus, our line of thinking was corrected today on the case of building a home here. We assumed we wouldn't be able to afford both a plot of land and building a house on it. In the States, that could easily run us $350,000. Here, you can build a nice three bedroom house for $57 - 80K. The labor costs are considerably less expensive.

Jim's wife built their house here (she was the general contractor) for $57,000. Jim's invited us to go and see their home on Sunday on our way out of town. So, we'll see how much house $57K can buy. :) Our's would be closer to $80K because we'd have to hire a contractor instead of doing it ourselves, and it'll cost more to truck the supplies in. Osa Mountain Village isn't on the highway; it's quite a haul up the mountain and getting a truck there will, frankly, cost more.

Looking at the property again today -- with more of a focus on home lots -- I admit, I shifted out of if we decide to move here, to I really want to move here. I don't know if it was: considering the benefits of a home lot to a villa (like: we'd get to keep our dogs with a fenced yard), Jim's extra energy and excitement about the place, or if it was the amazing sob-inducing views from the lots -- but I did find myself tearing up.

Wow.

Can you imagine? Living an expat life, in dream jobs, with like-minded people, off the grid, growing and raising all your own food (oh! I found out they'll have pigs for food and goats for dairy on the property, too!), and having a loving, accepting community around us from the start?!

Ok. That last one was wishful thinking, but I'm calling it "manifestation" instead. I'm visualizing into being.

I was worried about the schooling for the kids, but the teacher they'll have on site will be a lovely substitute for a Spanish-only speaking high school. It'll be kind of like homeschooling/HomeSource, but not. And if they want to go to the public high school, we'd be happy to take them. Jim also said that if we had any schooling ideas, the parents had a ton of say in what and how the teacher taught. If I find a Waldorf school high school curriculum for Aubrey, for instance, I can have the teacher use that to the best of her ability. If Aubrey wants to learn Japanese, she can be supervised by the teacher there. Giving the kids the choice between the two schools will give them some sense of control.

And ultimately, though I hate to play this trump card because it feels so righteously unfair -- we are the parents. We can make this choice whether the kids are on board, or not.

But the stance I think I'll take against their opposition -- which might not happen, but I'm thinking it will -- is this:  This is our dream. Mine and Paul's. We really want to do this. We understand that this quite probably isn't Aubrey and Robert's dream -- though it could become so -- and when they are 18, they can go and live their dream. And we'll totally support them 100% of the way in whatever capacity we can. And we think this move will give them the courage to go and live those dreams. 

Because they saw their parents do it.

(Paul keeps telling me there's something wrong with the glasses that keep coming from the bar. The pina coladas keep emptying too quickly -- there must be a hole in them.)

Tomorrow we'll meet with a local realtor (the one from the other day) and see if plots of land in the less-than-quarter-of-an-acre, distant ocean view and 300 degree mountain and jungle views go for $110K around here. 'Cuz that's what Jim is selling our favorite of his lots at.  (Then we'll hit a beach or two in the afternoon.)

 (view from our favorite lot)

 (the lot we want)

On Thursday we're meeting with Gary, the builder for Osa Mountain Village (but we could use anymore we wanted), to talk about plans and permits, etc.

If we bought the land before we left, or shortly after we got home (after having a real estate lawyer look over the papers) and got the building of the house started right away (after securing a construction loan, of course), we could have a rentable house by the summertime.

We'd go up and see the construction at least once during the building probably, and then Paul wants the family to stay in it first, before we rent it out to any tourists.

We'll have to furnish it, too. Hmm.

We've also been talking to Jim about the ice cream shop idea. That is an excellent business that could be run without us here that would generate income for us now. We could have two locations for the shop. One up the mountain for the people getting off the zip line tours. ("Whoo-eee! I just flew down a mountain! I need me some ice cream!") And one on the highway where the Osa Mountain Village office is.

It costs about $350 to get a limited corporation here, and then Jim would provide the locations for us, so it would be simple and easy to get it started. We'd hire a local person to serve the public and collect the monies. And a really nice wage around here is $500/month (taxes included). Sounds easy enough to me.

Now all we have to do is make up some upscale recipes -- using local ingredients, of course: coconut, mango, etc., try them out and buy the equipment to make it with. And the freezers to keep it cold. :)

Stay tuned to hear about whether this is a good local deal, and if the beaches are, in fact, awesome here. :)

Pura Vida!