Monday, May 4, 2015

Grief Story #6: Trish Butcher

My Grief Story
By Trish Butcher

There once was a girl,
Born to a mermaid and a hero,
She was well loved by all and the sun
shone on her birth.
Another child was born in time,
And love rained down from the girl to
her sister.

The mermaid and the hero were from
different worlds,
And strife began to tear them apart,
One day the hero flew away, leaving the
child broken hearted.
Of this the mermaid said nothing.

The child felt a deep emptiness without
her hero,
And the mermaid was often away
Providing food and shelter for the
And the child was often lonely.

As the young girl grew into a young
Caring for her sister while the mermaid
was away,
She began to hide her loneliness
In the company of those who dreamed
only of themselves.

The young girl and the mermaid began
to quarrel
For the girl believed the mermaid to be
the fault of her sadness.

Finally the young girl found the hero
And begged him to care for her once
The mermaid was hurt
But sent the children away with the hero.
He knew nothing of girls and caring for
And the young girl saw that he was not a
hero after all.

In early maidenhood, the young girl met
a boy.
He invited her to a festive gathering,
But the boy disappeared and she was left
Surrounded by young men, careless and

They tricked the girl into a deep sleep
And in the night took her innocence.
The fallen hero shunned her
And so the girl never spoke of the trick
that was played.

Pushing her pain down, the young girl
returned home to the mermaid,
But the mermaid had left their home
with no word.

So the girl roamed the village on her
Seeking safety but finding only hardship
and despair.

Finally the girl went to a temple for help
For she was too sick to go on.
The priest helped to find the mermaid,
And they were reunited.

The mermaid had found a new love
And the girl lived with them for a while.
But the trick had left a deep aching in
And she sought to soothe through

One night someone gave her a deadly
And she fell into a deep sleep.
She journeyed through the white tunnel
to heaven
And the physicians pronounced her

During the sleep, the girl saw great
And was given the answer to all
questions in life.
She awakened as they prepared her dead
And spoke of God to those attending her.

But no one believed her words
And instead they thought her insane.
The mermaid was ashamed
And turned her back on the young girl.

The girl was saddened and confused
And desperately wished for the
mermaid’s love,
And so she joined the most perilous of
all armies
To prove her worth and redeem her soul.

In this army she did not fight wars with
other tribes
But instead fought a war with herself,
For the soldiers were like the boys at the
And much harm was done.

Time went by, and the woman sought
She would do anything for it,
Even for those unworthy.
And the young woman was lonely.

Then a plague came upon the land and
took the woman’s sister.
In her grief the woman blamed the hero,
And in so doing the hero flew away once

To mask her grief, the woman worked
very hard
Believing coin and success would save
But the gods would have none of it
And after a time, the woman fell into a
deep and sudden sickness.

The sickness took the woman’s work,
The sickness took the woman’s home,
The sickness took the woman’s lover,
And the woman entered the land of

Seeking solace and a new life,
The woman traveled to land in the north,
The land was dark and cold
And the woman was sick and lonely.

After a time, the woman wandered into a
Full of people she recognized
But not in the usual way.
She found solace and comfort there.

One day on her way to the temple
The woman was drawn to a great love.
There was a great spark between them,
And they laughed and frolicked together.

For a time, there was perfection
And the woman enjoyed a great, great
Even though the tricks played still
plagued her
The woman was sometimes now not so

After a time, the darkness again
And a deadly sickness entered her
lover’s body.
She prayed for her lover’s healing
But her prayers were answered with
deadly silence.

Her lover was taken by the sickness
And darkness entered the woman’s
No one understood her pain
And the woman was lonely once more.

The cold and darkness enveloped her
And her sadness knew no bounds.
She turned to wine and solitude
And in nothing was there comfort.

The years went by and the woman
And hoped for love again.
But none could reach her as her sweet
lover had,
And the woman was still so lonely.

The hero, hearing of her sickness and
Returned and offered his heart.
Their joy of reuniting was great
And they marveled at their oneness,
Which had grown even in their

The woman felt a sense of completion
And was grateful for the hero’s return
But the time was short lived, for the hero
had grown old.
And his time on earth was done.

Sadness enveloped her once again.
She grieved for the lost years between
And grieved for the years they shared.
Her heart knew no comfort.

Even the people of the temple could
offer no comfort,
And for a time the woman turned away.
In darkness and solitude she longed for
But it did not come.

The woman wondered at the sadness of
her life.
Why she had come to this land
Far, far away from her beloved mermaid.
Time stretched and pulled and lingered,
And the woman lived her days,
One upon another
Drifting into sameness.

After a time around the sun
The woman returned to the temple.
At first she could not bear the glances of
For she felt shame in her grief.
And the woman felt lonely even in the
crowd of the temple.

The woman prayed as she often did
And this time, support rained down upon
She began to be gentle with herself
And allowed the help to come.
Her pains had taught her to know herself
And sometimes she was not so lonely.

Time went on, and the woman grew
She began to believe in the goodness of
Nourishing her faith in a garden of trust,
And even the tricks played on her began
to lose their power.

The woman now knew herself well,
In joyful times and in sorrow.
She began to do for others,
Cultivated the earth of her soul,
And was true to herself in spite of her
She now knows that all feel lonely at
And sometimes now, the loneliness is gone.


tccomments2013 said...

Dear Trish,

This grief story you have written is nearly indescribable; the raw candor speaks so lyrically, the authenticity of the truths are epic in scope with the narrative of such unrelenting pain over such a long period of time with layers upon layers of the quest you travelled to find yourself, the determination to keep on living in spite of disappointment and doors that opened then closed. I know I will read your story many times to help me keep afloat in my own saga, my own quest to answer the questions, "who am I now?", and Where am I going, and how will I get there?" I thank you for sharing the depths of your tortuous journey, and i wish you a life filled with Love and huge shining pillars of hope to light your way.

Valerie Willman said...

I have forwarded your comment on to Trish. Thanks for reaching out!