Why I Love Music and Movies

I often wish that I were more musically inclined -- either with playing an instrument or with singing. But not enough to actually put the work in for learning and training. But despite this I feel a great affection for musicians and have at times in my past called them my friends and supported their musical efforts as best I could.

I've had musicians as roommates, friends, and co-workers.

I listen to all sorts of music and, like reading the written word, I find myself moved and swayed through emotions depending on what type of music I'm listening to. This is one of the reasons I've been in awe of musicians -- as well as writers: their ability to carry people on waves of emotions, and usually at their own manipulation. They write sweet melody to sway listeners to love, they write angry rants to instill indignity so people will sit up and listen.

When I listen to music, I remember. And that is why I love it.

If I listen to Frank Sinatra, I think of Paul, my husband and love.

When I listen to The Cranberries and Dishwalla, I think of Mobin and searching and my time spent living at Zach's house trying to find who I was.

When I hear Seal, I think of Tim and our few perfect moments and the more moments feeling not that perfect.

When I hear No Doubt, I remember a restless time in Montana and secrets and a crazy summer working at Blockbuster and riding a motorcycle and a jet ski and flirting outrageously and being the 'other woman' briefly. And oddly, I think of my sister, Leslie.

When I hear eighties music, I'm transported to 7th grade innocence and dreaming of my crush, Mike Spowehn, and discovering masturbation (but not because of Mike), and then later high-school and dating my first real boyfriend and MTV and 'butt rock bands,' like Bon Jovi and Europe, Poison and Warrant.

But Firehouse and Erasure remind me especially of Eric (that first real boyfriend), and OMD reminds me of Kari Martin -- my locker partner in junior year.

And movies. There are certain movies I watch over and over purely for the feelings they instill in me. Like a nurturing friend.

I'll watch Sabrina (with Harrison Ford) when I feel lost in myself and need to feel stronger. I watch Little Women (with Winona Ryder) when I miss my sisters. I watch Jane Austen (especially Pride and Prejudice) when I want to go to a slower time, when I feel like I'm trying to do too much, or that too much is expected of me. Or, strangely, when I feel carried away romantically or sexually with a new partner or crush and I feel I need to slow down -- to take lessons from a time when you only kissed a man if you were engaged to him. I watch Uncorked if I want to remind myself to be authentic. And I watch Serendipity when I want to feel closer to Paul and re-live our early dating days.

And then anything foreign is awesome. :)