Venting ... With a Question at the End.

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to say it wants to leak out the crevices and orifices of my body, overflowing. And sometimes it feels like I have nothing to say. Dry. Tired. Too much work to open my mouth and call forth the images within for translation. And sometimes these two opposing states occur at the same time.

Like now.

Maybe bullet points would work.
I could get some stuff out, but not really have to elaborate on them.

• Paul was supposed to be in surgery today, but the doctor cancelled again. He wants to do more research and get more materials. Paul is second-guessing his trust in this doctor and wants to get a second opinion from OSHU. We will miss our end of year deadline for remaining medical procedures and doctor's appointments and come January 1st will have to start paying on the deductible all over again. $5000. Out of pocket. Shit.
• I'm starting to think garden already. I've got tons of seeds left over from last year and I'm going to check in with some neighbors and see if they want to do a co-operative gardening project this year. I think it would be good if I came up with some ideas of how I would want that to look like before I approached them tho. But probably it won't be a big deal.
• I am going to mail off an entry for a publishing contest today. The first 5000 words of my manuscript.
• I'm going to line edit a friend's YA manuscript within the next couple of weeks. I suspect this will entice me to start working on collecting my own bushel of clients. (Did I tell you about my friend Nawaz's idea about editing college entrance essays as a business?)
• I need to get serious about building platform so that I can get an agent for my memoir. I had a scheduled day once a week to devote to reading blogs and commenting on them and researching magazines to query and updating social media, etc., but it isn't working. As in, I'm not doing it. So. That either means I'm trying to do it on the wrong day, or I just have sucky discipline. Hmm. Maybe both.
• The kitchen is starting to crust over.
• I need to follow up with a couple of resumes I dropped off.
• I need to vacuum, but the cleaner's broken.
• I need to clean off the dining room table in the next ten minutes because Aubrey's Japanese teacher is coming over for a lesson.
• I want to finish the baby sweater I'm knitting for a friend.
• I want to connect with my two best friends.
• I want to get the building plans finalized for the Costa Rican house.
• We're still waiting to get the sales agreement for the lot signed by the landowner so we can wire the money to escrow and close on the deal.
• And there's more. There's always more.
• Like, my bedroom is turned upside down and looks worse than my kids' put together. !!! And that's saying something.

January 2nd starts a new diet, a new writing schedule, a new commitment to querying agents and magazines at least twice a month .... and a blessed routine. I am suffering from lack of routine right now. The kids being home from school is nice for the sleeping in and relaxing, but not for the I-haven't-been-to-yoga-regularly-for-three-weeks. Or I-haven't-written-anything-new-on-my-manuscript-since-the-kids-have-been-home. Those parts suck.

Robert goes back to school on January 4th and Aubrey back on January 6th. Whew.

Life back to normal soon.

Uh. And then I'll need to start thinking about our anniversary and Valentine's Day. And the building on our house will start. !!!!! Our realtor, Ricardo, said that he would send us pictures of our house being built, so I can share them with you, as well.

Our plan for an ice cream shop might need to wait a bit. We definitely don't have the capital for start-up. The loan we got was a little less than we thought (because we hadn't factored in the paying of the property taxes) and now Paul's medical bills will be more than we counted on. So. That's a disappointment. A little one. More that I'm worried about disappointing Jim (the landowner), because he really liked the idea. And I also want to start making money over there as soon as possible. I hope the rents coming in from the house will be substantial enough to cushion us. Our budget will be super tight for the next three years. Or more. 

Lots to think of.

In the coming days, I will most likely be posting my New Years Resolutions. Despite the controversy of them. :) I can call them something different if you want. I just like to write down my goals. It makes them more real and ordered for me. If they just float around in my head, I don't focus on them and they don't get addressed.

What is your process for setting goals? Or. As my husband says, Commitments. He doesn't set goals. He makes commitments. I like both. You?