Sunday, October 16, 2011

The Wind Has Wings With Feathers

In a lot of ways I feel like I'm being born again. I'm ready. Excited. Full of anticipation. Growth, Change. .... but also, the breathlessness of anxiety -- like a gust of wind that takes your breath away. Smack in the face.

I'm going to reactivate my inactive massage therapy license.

And I've challenged myself to a renewed mission of authenticity and self-honesty. And courage. Courage to say what's on my mind.

To live the way I feel inside.

To inhale life and breath out art.

To really focus on personal growth, building creative castles in my skies, and talking with people, awakening after a winter of depression -- an autumn of disappointment.

To rediscover what things cause me to live inside.
Seek answers within.
Welcome people in
To see the Real me.
Create art with no Rules.

N. asked me once: Do you want to be an experiencer of life? Or do you want to build something and watch it grow?

My first thought was: Right now? I want to experience. I spent years building something. I've had that experience. Now I want to experience something else.

And my next thought was: Well, why can't I have both? Who's stopping me? It'd only be me. I can have both. I can experience life with a partner. I can build a life with a partner that wants to grow and experience life. Someone who'll take risks with me and create new worlds and breathe art with me. Someone who lives and experiences a creative process through living.

I can have both.
In fact, I demand both.

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